point / counterpoint

Point:
Knowing Latin is awesome, because any idiot can shoot off a simple conversation in Spanish, but being able to translate classical texts is an awesome ability to have.

Counterpoint:
Being known as "the student who knows Latin" in class can be somewhat unpleasant.

Presidential Debate drinking game

One drink
Obama: "Look,"
McCain: Any attempt to distinguish self from Bush administration

Three drinks
Obama: "... notion that..."
McCain: "... earmarks..." or "... pork-barrel spending..."

Five drinks
Obama: Stuttering/vocalizing for more than three seconds
McCain: Creepy old guy smile

Finish drink
Obama: "... my Muslim faith..."
McCain: "... gooks..."

mixed messages

No, sorry AIG, we'd love to help you guys but it would send a bad message to investors downplaying the risks associated with--

*eight hours later*

Okay but for real though we got this, here's eighty-five billion dollars, peace.

selections from my Google search history

"back pain"
"my back hurts"
"can i get vicodin for back pain"
"is the real white house like the west wing"

excerpts from English department brochure, Cleveland State University, 2008

"... the English department career advising office doubles as a balcony with no railing and a spectacular view of the Cleveland skyline. Please note that the English department is conveniently located on the 18th floor of Rhodes Tower to assist in your problem solving."

"Successful alumni:
Salty Lucas Finnegan, panhandler, East 18th and Prospect LLC
Jimmy Gascan McScroogie, rapscallion, Edgewater Park Picnic Table, inc.
Three-fingered Ed, currently between jobs"

Palin' in comparison

In the short hours since John McCain selected Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be his running mate, the decision has been hailed by pundits and bloggers alike as anything from baffling to brilliant. Or so I'm guessing, because I've been in class, pondering the logic behind this decision instead of the novels of Eliza Haywood or the finer points of ballad stanza.

The choice of Governor Palin for Vice President is somewhat unconventional for a number of reasons - she's young, female, and a political greenhorn to such an extent that makes Senator Obama look like Senator Byrd. At first this might appear to be a case of simply balancing the ticket - Governor Palin shares several characteristics with Senator Obama (female, not African-American, of course - but demographically underrepresented) where Senator McCain could be likened to Senator Biden in experience and age. Each party is putting a different foot forward.

The more troubling idea is that the selection of Governor Palin is to court Senator Clinton supporters disenchanted with the Democratic Party after the nomination of Senator Obama. One might not expect such a gesture to cause voters to switch parties until one considers the recent poll that put 21% of Clinton supporters voting for McCain in November, with another 27% undecided. Should the selection of Governor Palin serve to increase those numbers further, the lack of a united base could be the Democrats' undoing in a year when they should be absolute shoe-ins. If this is the GOP's motive, it stands as an insulting and dangerous move, even by their standards. Trying to lure in Hillary's supporters with a commercial was shady enough - making an actual campaign decision over it is offensive to the popular Alaska governor, who's now more or less bait at the end of the Republicans' rod.

And I'm really not one to extensively consider John McCain ill-health scenarios, but this one would be especially grim. I do not consider a lack of experience in Washington a distinctly bad thing; indeed, candidates who distinguish themselves from the corrupt rank-and-file of Washington are decidedly appealing. But a candidate needs at least a modicum of familiarity with national politics. Governor Palin has held her position for about a year and a half after serving as mayor of a city smaller than the audiences to whom she'll speak. Should McCain run into a health issue, this woman will be sitting across the table from Ahmadinejad. (Okay, just kidding, we probably would have bombed them by then.) And the Republicans say Obama's inexperienced?

On the other hand, this is all a huge gamble for the GOP. They're essentially betting that the amount of Clinton voters garnered by Governor Palin will be substantially greater than the amount of far-right misogynists who might jump ship (and who, I might add, already aren't too keen about a McCain presidency). And besides, any Clinton hold-out who doesn't support Obama now is likely not smart enough to realize that a soccer mom-looking candidate could rule the free world, or even perhaps that the office of vice president exists at all.

Biden's going to have to handle his debates gracefully as well, because I don't even want to think about the media narrative if it gets ugly. "VETERAN WASHINGTON INSIDER VERBALLY ABUSES BRIGHT-EYED AND BUSHY-TAILED MOTHER OF FIVE."

reasons Ohio is better than where you live

1.) Cedar Point
2.) The best library system in the nation
3.) Dennis Kucinich