assassin's creed

Or "More Wasted Potential Than Mr. Harley, My High School Physics Teacher, Said That I Had" or "Way To Review Games A Month After They Come Out, Joe. Seriously, Relevancy Isn't At All Important In Blogging. Why Don't You Tell Me What You Think About The Godfather While You're At It?"

Massive game world. Painstakingly detailed cities. Beautiful historically-accurate setting during the Third Crusade. What could go wrong?

Despite being a game that should have been a shoe-in candidate for Game of the Year, Assassin's Creed flounders; if you were to strip away all the pretty graphics and environs, you'd be left with a game that would garner about as much attention as, say, Fatal Inertia. Never heard of that one? Yeah.

Because the truth is, while Assassin's Creed is one of the most ambitious gaming projects in recent memory... they didn't really put enough effort into the "gaming" side of things.

Example one. Moving your little assassin around. It looks amazing. Altair moves smoothly, diving through produce stands, cat-walking on ledges, climbing up any surface with a foothold. But all you have to do to do any of this is hold two buttons while moving around. Even though it makes for easy navigation, it all feels just too easy.

Example two. The harebrained "social acceptability" system. In Assassin's Creed, guards get pissed at you based on how socially acceptable you are. This means that killing a guard while unseen and then sitting on a bench can go completely unpunished, but if you just so happen to run through town a little too quickly, they'll have the entire king's militia on you with a taste for blood. (No, you're right, it doesn't make sense.) Then you're engaged in the awkward and stiff combat system that, again, looks gorgeous, though you feel you really don't have much control over the fight. Of course, if you walk behind a building and dive into a haystack, your pursuers have absolutely no idea where you are.

Example three. The first assassination is pretty fun. Your task is basically to investigate the town, interrogate people, gather information, then track your target and slay him. But there's next to no difference in how you accomplish the nine assassinations. Kill guards who are tormenting an innocent citizen (who are all repeating the same two lines), get some information. Find some town crier guy who's shouting some speech about the king (which just so happens to be the same speech in every city), interrogate him, kill him.

It's utterly boring. Unless the first assassination was absolute gaming bliss to you, you will be sick of this game by the time it's over. And if you have Rock Band or Call of Duty 4 or Mass Effect, just forget about it.

Assassin's Creed could and should have been amazing. If the combat engine had even half the polish of Devil May Cry or Ninja Gaiden or something like that, the game would probably be a triumph. Substance over style, people. Despite the dazzling visuals, interesting storyline, and historical context, Assassin's Creed manages to be about as captivating as an old educational video on the Crusades.