I like my presidents like I like my coffee.
I was all about Vampire Weekend until the second song's vocals started with "Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?" and I'm like "Um. Over here."
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
musings
Kid A and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot have some definite similarities in album structure and tone. Give them a listen for yourself.
Friday, January 18, 2008
assassin's creed
Or "More Wasted Potential Than Mr. Harley, My High School Physics Teacher, Said That I Had" or "Way To Review Games A Month After They Come Out, Joe. Seriously, Relevancy Isn't At All Important In Blogging. Why Don't You Tell Me What You Think About The Godfather While You're At It?"
Massive game world. Painstakingly detailed cities. Beautiful historically-accurate setting during the Third Crusade. What could go wrong?
Despite being a game that should have been a shoe-in candidate for Game of the Year, Assassin's Creed flounders; if you were to strip away all the pretty graphics and environs, you'd be left with a game that would garner about as much attention as, say, Fatal Inertia. Never heard of that one? Yeah.
Because the truth is, while Assassin's Creed is one of the most ambitious gaming projects in recent memory... they didn't really put enough effort into the "gaming" side of things.
Example one. Moving your little assassin around. It looks amazing. Altair moves smoothly, diving through produce stands, cat-walking on ledges, climbing up any surface with a foothold. But all you have to do to do any of this is hold two buttons while moving around. Even though it makes for easy navigation, it all feels just too easy.
Example two. The harebrained "social acceptability" system. In Assassin's Creed, guards get pissed at you based on how socially acceptable you are. This means that killing a guard while unseen and then sitting on a bench can go completely unpunished, but if you just so happen to run through town a little too quickly, they'll have the entire king's militia on you with a taste for blood. (No, you're right, it doesn't make sense.) Then you're engaged in the awkward and stiff combat system that, again, looks gorgeous, though you feel you really don't have much control over the fight. Of course, if you walk behind a building and dive into a haystack, your pursuers have absolutely no idea where you are.
Example three. The first assassination is pretty fun. Your task is basically to investigate the town, interrogate people, gather information, then track your target and slay him. But there's next to no difference in how you accomplish the nine assassinations. Kill guards who are tormenting an innocent citizen (who are all repeating the same two lines), get some information. Find some town crier guy who's shouting some speech about the king (which just so happens to be the same speech in every city), interrogate him, kill him.
It's utterly boring. Unless the first assassination was absolute gaming bliss to you, you will be sick of this game by the time it's over. And if you have Rock Band or Call of Duty 4 or Mass Effect, just forget about it.
Assassin's Creed could and should have been amazing. If the combat engine had even half the polish of Devil May Cry or Ninja Gaiden or something like that, the game would probably be a triumph. Substance over style, people. Despite the dazzling visuals, interesting storyline, and historical context, Assassin's Creed manages to be about as captivating as an old educational video on the Crusades.
Massive game world. Painstakingly detailed cities. Beautiful historically-accurate setting during the Third Crusade. What could go wrong?
Despite being a game that should have been a shoe-in candidate for Game of the Year, Assassin's Creed flounders; if you were to strip away all the pretty graphics and environs, you'd be left with a game that would garner about as much attention as, say, Fatal Inertia. Never heard of that one? Yeah.
Because the truth is, while Assassin's Creed is one of the most ambitious gaming projects in recent memory... they didn't really put enough effort into the "gaming" side of things.
Example one. Moving your little assassin around. It looks amazing. Altair moves smoothly, diving through produce stands, cat-walking on ledges, climbing up any surface with a foothold. But all you have to do to do any of this is hold two buttons while moving around. Even though it makes for easy navigation, it all feels just too easy.
Example two. The harebrained "social acceptability" system. In Assassin's Creed, guards get pissed at you based on how socially acceptable you are. This means that killing a guard while unseen and then sitting on a bench can go completely unpunished, but if you just so happen to run through town a little too quickly, they'll have the entire king's militia on you with a taste for blood. (No, you're right, it doesn't make sense.) Then you're engaged in the awkward and stiff combat system that, again, looks gorgeous, though you feel you really don't have much control over the fight. Of course, if you walk behind a building and dive into a haystack, your pursuers have absolutely no idea where you are.
Example three. The first assassination is pretty fun. Your task is basically to investigate the town, interrogate people, gather information, then track your target and slay him. But there's next to no difference in how you accomplish the nine assassinations. Kill guards who are tormenting an innocent citizen (who are all repeating the same two lines), get some information. Find some town crier guy who's shouting some speech about the king (which just so happens to be the same speech in every city), interrogate him, kill him.
It's utterly boring. Unless the first assassination was absolute gaming bliss to you, you will be sick of this game by the time it's over. And if you have Rock Band or Call of Duty 4 or Mass Effect, just forget about it.
Assassin's Creed could and should have been amazing. If the combat engine had even half the polish of Devil May Cry or Ninja Gaiden or something like that, the game would probably be a triumph. Substance over style, people. Despite the dazzling visuals, interesting storyline, and historical context, Assassin's Creed manages to be about as captivating as an old educational video on the Crusades.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
swingos - westlake, oh
Okay, I'll admit it - I walked into Swingos expecting to be underwhelmed. Their brunch buffet failed to impress me the first time I was there. And I can't even give that a fair review because I was expecting it to be of similar quality to Pier W (which was undergoing remodeling when I last went to Swingos). My party's experience at this Cleveland culinary mainstay was far from underwhelming and totally engaged us in flavor, presentation, and service.
The meal began with complimentary cod roe on crispy croutons - light and smooth with a daring garlic bite that served as the perfect starter for the noteworthy Caesar salad. Available for $18 for two as a substitute for the dinner salad included with all entrées, this classic is prepared tableside - the dressing carefully mixed in a wooden bowl and the croutons lightly fried in butter before being served warm over crisp romaine hearts. Heavy on crushed garlic, freshly-ground black pepper, and lemon, the aromas wafting across your table pale in comparison to the outstanding flavor. The portions were extremely generous - we had it prepared for three and split for four people and were still left with plates that would have made a light lunch.
Two members of our party enjoyed the Steak Romano: twin filet mignons grilled and lightly coated with garlic and herb breadcrumbs served with a cabernet reduction. Side dishes available were roasted redskin potatoes with Parmesan and rosemary, potatoes Lyonnaise, and steamed broccoli. I ordered the featured entrée which was similar to the Steak Romano - the same two breaded filets served with angel hair pasta in a wonderfully creamy pesto sauce with tomato and mushroom. It was garnished with caramelized red onion in a fried potato basket - a playful and eye-catching presentation. The beef was delicious though a few degrees overdone in my opinion; if you prefer your steak medium rare, I'd suggest you order it rare at Swingos. The pasta was smooth and subtle and an excellent pairing for the beef. As with the salad, portions were generous - each meal at $38 was enough to make us consider skipping dessert, though after we saw the selections we ended up regaining our resolve.
The wine list read more like an almanac - Swingos is internationally known for its expansive wine selection, and to highlight some of the notable vintages is beyond the scope of my review as well as my expertise. It suffices to say that any oenophile will find something that impresses. Our knowledgeable server suggested wine pairings for our meal selections, and we settled on splitting a bottle of their house Swingos Grand Tavern Pinot Noir. Made with Oregon grapes and bottled at Ohio's Grand River, it carried a slight alcohol tinge in its aroma, but was at once fruity and earthy. At a reasonable $30 a bottle, it was a fairly easy choice, and could pair well with any steak.
Because we enjoyed the tableside preparation of the Caesar salad, we were drawn to the desserts which were served in a similar manner; we selected the cherries jubilee. Delightfully sour cherries drenched in Grand Marnier and brandy, flambéed with Bacardi 151 and served over delicious vanilla ice cream. $18 bought a portion easily satisfying for three. The Quill Coffee also comes highly recommended - fine dark roast coffee with cream, Kahlúa, Baileys Irish Cream and amaretto. Even the plain coffee was an experience. It was served with Belgian chocolate shavings, cinnamon sticks and raw sugar to accent it as you wish.
The atmosphere was simple and pleasing for the most part. Even though the restaurant is right on Lake Erie, the view of the Cleveland skyline isn't nearly as good as Pier W (just on the other side of the condominium complex). The music was almost too pop for the atmosphere. Some smooth jazz or even piano would have been very welcome, but we actually heard a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. Honestly, a minor complaint considering the excellence of the food and service. The entire meal was paced extremely well. The entrées came out after the salad had just enough time to settle, and we enjoyed our coffee beverages for about fifteen minutes before our dessert was made. Overall, our visit was about two and a half hours of relaxed dining.
The Swingos name has been a fixture on the Greater Cleveland restaurant scene for years and years and its easy to see why. Their dedication to excellent preparation of culinary classics is evident in everything on the menu, and you could go a lifetime without tasting everything on their wine list. With a menu ranging from chicken to veal to almost a dozen seafood choices, their entertaining tableside preparations and the staff's expertise and friendliness, Swingos is a dining classic not to be missed.
The meal began with complimentary cod roe on crispy croutons - light and smooth with a daring garlic bite that served as the perfect starter for the noteworthy Caesar salad. Available for $18 for two as a substitute for the dinner salad included with all entrées, this classic is prepared tableside - the dressing carefully mixed in a wooden bowl and the croutons lightly fried in butter before being served warm over crisp romaine hearts. Heavy on crushed garlic, freshly-ground black pepper, and lemon, the aromas wafting across your table pale in comparison to the outstanding flavor. The portions were extremely generous - we had it prepared for three and split for four people and were still left with plates that would have made a light lunch.
Two members of our party enjoyed the Steak Romano: twin filet mignons grilled and lightly coated with garlic and herb breadcrumbs served with a cabernet reduction. Side dishes available were roasted redskin potatoes with Parmesan and rosemary, potatoes Lyonnaise, and steamed broccoli. I ordered the featured entrée which was similar to the Steak Romano - the same two breaded filets served with angel hair pasta in a wonderfully creamy pesto sauce with tomato and mushroom. It was garnished with caramelized red onion in a fried potato basket - a playful and eye-catching presentation. The beef was delicious though a few degrees overdone in my opinion; if you prefer your steak medium rare, I'd suggest you order it rare at Swingos. The pasta was smooth and subtle and an excellent pairing for the beef. As with the salad, portions were generous - each meal at $38 was enough to make us consider skipping dessert, though after we saw the selections we ended up regaining our resolve.
The wine list read more like an almanac - Swingos is internationally known for its expansive wine selection, and to highlight some of the notable vintages is beyond the scope of my review as well as my expertise. It suffices to say that any oenophile will find something that impresses. Our knowledgeable server suggested wine pairings for our meal selections, and we settled on splitting a bottle of their house Swingos Grand Tavern Pinot Noir. Made with Oregon grapes and bottled at Ohio's Grand River, it carried a slight alcohol tinge in its aroma, but was at once fruity and earthy. At a reasonable $30 a bottle, it was a fairly easy choice, and could pair well with any steak.
Because we enjoyed the tableside preparation of the Caesar salad, we were drawn to the desserts which were served in a similar manner; we selected the cherries jubilee. Delightfully sour cherries drenched in Grand Marnier and brandy, flambéed with Bacardi 151 and served over delicious vanilla ice cream. $18 bought a portion easily satisfying for three. The Quill Coffee also comes highly recommended - fine dark roast coffee with cream, Kahlúa, Baileys Irish Cream and amaretto. Even the plain coffee was an experience. It was served with Belgian chocolate shavings, cinnamon sticks and raw sugar to accent it as you wish.
The atmosphere was simple and pleasing for the most part. Even though the restaurant is right on Lake Erie, the view of the Cleveland skyline isn't nearly as good as Pier W (just on the other side of the condominium complex). The music was almost too pop for the atmosphere. Some smooth jazz or even piano would have been very welcome, but we actually heard a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. Honestly, a minor complaint considering the excellence of the food and service. The entire meal was paced extremely well. The entrées came out after the salad had just enough time to settle, and we enjoyed our coffee beverages for about fifteen minutes before our dessert was made. Overall, our visit was about two and a half hours of relaxed dining.
The Swingos name has been a fixture on the Greater Cleveland restaurant scene for years and years and its easy to see why. Their dedication to excellent preparation of culinary classics is evident in everything on the menu, and you could go a lifetime without tasting everything on their wine list. With a menu ranging from chicken to veal to almost a dozen seafood choices, their entertaining tableside preparations and the staff's expertise and friendliness, Swingos is a dining classic not to be missed.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
merry christmas
On a Christmas Eve so freezing, I commenced my quest displeasing,
Through the crowded shops and busy stores of flashy Yuletide glee.
In I hustled quickly tiring, looks of hopelessness inspiring,
To the salesman inquiring, "Have you a Nintendo Wii?"
"Sorry, sir" was his reply "for I have no Nintendo Wii.
All that's left is PS3."
Through the crowded shops and busy stores of flashy Yuletide glee.
In I hustled quickly tiring, looks of hopelessness inspiring,
To the salesman inquiring, "Have you a Nintendo Wii?"
"Sorry, sir" was his reply "for I have no Nintendo Wii.
All that's left is PS3."
Monday, December 17, 2007
top ten albums of 2007
I don't think 2007 was quite as awesome for music as 2006, just because 2007 didn't have Boys and Girls in America. Not without its highlights, however, 2007 brought us plenty of solid listening from artists new and old. I humbly submit to you, dear reader, my ten favorite albums of the year.
10.) Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
I honestly don't even have much to say about this album. Spoon are at the top of their genre and constantly crank out some of the catchiest and well-crafted tracks that indie rock has to offer. The fact that it's so damn short is disappointing, but a testament to its resilience - it definitely stands up to repeated listens.
09.) Kanye West - Graduation
Kanye West has done a lot more for rap than teaching us that it's okay for white people to listen to it, and Graduation - while not as bombastic and hubristic as Late Registration - is the best hip-hop album of the year. 'Ye lays down lines like "I'm like the fly Malcolm X / Buy any jeans necessary" which, despite being a pretty solid representation of everything wrong with hip-hop today, is a freaking hot line, man. A real grower of an album - nothing hits you in the face like "Gold Digger" or "Touch the Sky", but every track sounds better and better the more you listen to them. And he won his feud with 50, so that's another feather in his cap.
08.) The Field - From Here We Go Sublime
Ambient techno isn't something one hears incredibly often unless they seek it out - and Axel Willner's debut opus is a fantastic reason to do just that. Quite possibly the most beautiful-sounding and hypnotic album of the year, Willner weaves together layers of stringy synths, pulsing bass, and ghostlike vocals into an utterly entrancing and ecstatic 65 minutes. Played over a 5.1 system or a great set of headphones, From Here We Go Sublime is especially atmospheric and ethereal.
07.) Jens Lekman - Night Falls Over Kortedala
Those familiar with the previous works of Mr. Lekman know that his boyish charm and sugar-sweet lyrics make him a fantastic choice to show a girl how sensitive you are (as long as you're sure they won't fall in love with him). The amazing Night Falls Over Kortedala maintains his typical romantic subject matter and pairs it with orchestral horn flourishes, 60s and 70s pop stylings, and Motown, to mention a few of the many disparate influences you'll hear. A witty and lovelorn lyricist demonstrating a mastery of unabashedly sunny melodies with splendid pop sensibilities? The girlfriend will love it, too.
06.) Sunset Rubdown - Random Spirit Lover
Honestly, Spencer Krug is in more bands than I can name, and how he manages to churn out so much incredible material is just beyond me. Combining dense and layered guitars with his cracked and wavering voice, Random Spirit Lover is at once elegant and staggering. The album doesn't lose any steam from the joyous opening of "The Mending of the Gown", pairing blissful piano and guitar interplay with Krug's trademark vocals. "Up On Your Leopard, Upon the End of Your Feral Days" is another absolute highlight, sounding like swaggering circus music. I no longer consider Sunset Rubdown a "side project" of Wolf Parade - this is better than anything they've ever done.
05.) LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver
Cheap beer has nothing on James Murphy for getting white kids to dance. Sound of Silver is without a doubt the band's most mature release yet - nine exceedingly groovy, party-ready tracks that strangely capture the warmth and crispness of all the classic rock and electronic vinyls that Murphy sings about in "Losing My Edge". Switching between his freewheeling high-pitched delivery in "North American Scum" to a subdued and sweet techno ballad in "Someone Great", the bandleader is as versatile of a vocalist as he is a songwriter, and I really only see him getting better.
04.) Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
Neon Bible was released to enormous expectations on the heels of the band's 2004 offering, the grandiose, morose, beautiful Funeral - and while not quite living up to its predecessor, it shows a logical progression as these somber rockers (riding their internet-fueled wave of popularity) expound upon their strong suits - homaging Springsteen through expansive instrumentation and Win Butler's intense vocals. Not as likely to move you as Funeral - on the other hand, not as likely to depress you, and definitely one of the most ornately-crafted works of the year.
03.) Animal Collective - Strawberry Jam
The experimental psychedelic notions of Animal Collective are still rarely heard outside of stoners' iPods and college radio, but Strawberry Jam demonstrates the group blending their growing pop sensibilities with the, (okay,) inaccessible freak-folk noise-rock that's made up the remainder of their discography. The result is profoundly interesting and unpredictable tracks that manage to be loads of fun to listen to at the same time.
02.) Panda Bear - Person Pitch
That's right, two Animal Collective-related albums in a row at the 2 and 3 spots. I can do that. Noah Lennox's third release as a solo artist channels the choral harmonies of The Beach Boys and the distant emotions of The Velvet Underground through seven gorgeous, intricate tracks that defy shoehorning into a genre. From the canon-sounding "Comfy in Nautica" to the hauntingly upbeat "Take Pills" to the intense "Good Girl / Carrots" (one of the two 12+ minute tracks on the disc), expectations are shattered and new musical frontiers are explored.
01.) Radiohead - In Rainbows
Yeah, I know. Radiohead has the best album of the year? Real effing unexpected. But the long-awaited follow up to Hail to the Thief was absolutely worth the wait. The legendary band's latest album is much warmer and intimate than the alienation and somberness permeating most of the rest of their discography. Though not at all without Yorke's trademark lyrics of disillusionment and hopelessness, lyrical subject matter delves into people and relationships - who really expected to hear "I don't wanna be your friend / I just want to be your lover" kicking off a Radiohead track? The transition is welcome - Radiohead seem to have abandoned their search for the ultimate synthesis between rock and electronic music, as awkwardly attempted in Hail to the Thief - and the result is an incredibly natural feel, ranging from the near-danceable "Bodysnatchers" to the magnificent "Nude" that gives "How to Disappear Completely" a run for its money. It's still rock music, and it's the same Radiohead that we love - but it's a band at peace with itself and the world.
10.) Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
I honestly don't even have much to say about this album. Spoon are at the top of their genre and constantly crank out some of the catchiest and well-crafted tracks that indie rock has to offer. The fact that it's so damn short is disappointing, but a testament to its resilience - it definitely stands up to repeated listens.
09.) Kanye West - Graduation
Kanye West has done a lot more for rap than teaching us that it's okay for white people to listen to it, and Graduation - while not as bombastic and hubristic as Late Registration - is the best hip-hop album of the year. 'Ye lays down lines like "I'm like the fly Malcolm X / Buy any jeans necessary" which, despite being a pretty solid representation of everything wrong with hip-hop today, is a freaking hot line, man. A real grower of an album - nothing hits you in the face like "Gold Digger" or "Touch the Sky", but every track sounds better and better the more you listen to them. And he won his feud with 50, so that's another feather in his cap.
08.) The Field - From Here We Go Sublime
Ambient techno isn't something one hears incredibly often unless they seek it out - and Axel Willner's debut opus is a fantastic reason to do just that. Quite possibly the most beautiful-sounding and hypnotic album of the year, Willner weaves together layers of stringy synths, pulsing bass, and ghostlike vocals into an utterly entrancing and ecstatic 65 minutes. Played over a 5.1 system or a great set of headphones, From Here We Go Sublime is especially atmospheric and ethereal.
07.) Jens Lekman - Night Falls Over Kortedala
Those familiar with the previous works of Mr. Lekman know that his boyish charm and sugar-sweet lyrics make him a fantastic choice to show a girl how sensitive you are (as long as you're sure they won't fall in love with him). The amazing Night Falls Over Kortedala maintains his typical romantic subject matter and pairs it with orchestral horn flourishes, 60s and 70s pop stylings, and Motown, to mention a few of the many disparate influences you'll hear. A witty and lovelorn lyricist demonstrating a mastery of unabashedly sunny melodies with splendid pop sensibilities? The girlfriend will love it, too.
06.) Sunset Rubdown - Random Spirit Lover
Honestly, Spencer Krug is in more bands than I can name, and how he manages to churn out so much incredible material is just beyond me. Combining dense and layered guitars with his cracked and wavering voice, Random Spirit Lover is at once elegant and staggering. The album doesn't lose any steam from the joyous opening of "The Mending of the Gown", pairing blissful piano and guitar interplay with Krug's trademark vocals. "Up On Your Leopard, Upon the End of Your Feral Days" is another absolute highlight, sounding like swaggering circus music. I no longer consider Sunset Rubdown a "side project" of Wolf Parade - this is better than anything they've ever done.
05.) LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver
Cheap beer has nothing on James Murphy for getting white kids to dance. Sound of Silver is without a doubt the band's most mature release yet - nine exceedingly groovy, party-ready tracks that strangely capture the warmth and crispness of all the classic rock and electronic vinyls that Murphy sings about in "Losing My Edge". Switching between his freewheeling high-pitched delivery in "North American Scum" to a subdued and sweet techno ballad in "Someone Great", the bandleader is as versatile of a vocalist as he is a songwriter, and I really only see him getting better.
04.) Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
Neon Bible was released to enormous expectations on the heels of the band's 2004 offering, the grandiose, morose, beautiful Funeral - and while not quite living up to its predecessor, it shows a logical progression as these somber rockers (riding their internet-fueled wave of popularity) expound upon their strong suits - homaging Springsteen through expansive instrumentation and Win Butler's intense vocals. Not as likely to move you as Funeral - on the other hand, not as likely to depress you, and definitely one of the most ornately-crafted works of the year.
03.) Animal Collective - Strawberry Jam
The experimental psychedelic notions of Animal Collective are still rarely heard outside of stoners' iPods and college radio, but Strawberry Jam demonstrates the group blending their growing pop sensibilities with the, (okay,) inaccessible freak-folk noise-rock that's made up the remainder of their discography. The result is profoundly interesting and unpredictable tracks that manage to be loads of fun to listen to at the same time.
02.) Panda Bear - Person Pitch
That's right, two Animal Collective-related albums in a row at the 2 and 3 spots. I can do that. Noah Lennox's third release as a solo artist channels the choral harmonies of The Beach Boys and the distant emotions of The Velvet Underground through seven gorgeous, intricate tracks that defy shoehorning into a genre. From the canon-sounding "Comfy in Nautica" to the hauntingly upbeat "Take Pills" to the intense "Good Girl / Carrots" (one of the two 12+ minute tracks on the disc), expectations are shattered and new musical frontiers are explored.
01.) Radiohead - In Rainbows
Yeah, I know. Radiohead has the best album of the year? Real effing unexpected. But the long-awaited follow up to Hail to the Thief was absolutely worth the wait. The legendary band's latest album is much warmer and intimate than the alienation and somberness permeating most of the rest of their discography. Though not at all without Yorke's trademark lyrics of disillusionment and hopelessness, lyrical subject matter delves into people and relationships - who really expected to hear "I don't wanna be your friend / I just want to be your lover" kicking off a Radiohead track? The transition is welcome - Radiohead seem to have abandoned their search for the ultimate synthesis between rock and electronic music, as awkwardly attempted in Hail to the Thief - and the result is an incredibly natural feel, ranging from the near-danceable "Bodysnatchers" to the magnificent "Nude" that gives "How to Disappear Completely" a run for its money. It's still rock music, and it's the same Radiohead that we love - but it's a band at peace with itself and the world.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
musings
Dreaming about being in love is the absolute worst. One minute you're in some fairy wonderland with the girl of your, well, dreams, and the next you're looking at your ceiling in your boxers, alone and unloved, the tinny tones of your cell phone alarm clock summoning you to a day of selling video games to angry parents.
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